I’m thinking……

I might be back. It’s been 5 years since I’ve logged in here. At the beginning it was fun posting on here. Then it started to be like a job. Then Facebook and Twitter took off, much less pressure. And eventually I just quit posting here.

A lot has happened since I last posted. The Princess graduated from college. Budman finished high school and went off to college, he will graduate next year. Our pup passed away at 13 years of age, so  Esposa and I settled into our suddenly very empty nest.

So, I’m thinking I have things to say. This might as well be the place to say it. To heck with Facebook and Twitter. I’m too slow witted and long winded for either of them. Plus connecting with people you haven’t seen in 20-25 years can sometimes remind you why you haven’t seen them in a long time.

So….here we go. Let’s see what happens.

Tough out.

 

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America’s Debt

There has been a lot of political rhetoric thrown about during the recent debates on raising the debt ceiling. Finally I have found a politician that speaks to me on federal debt:

The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our government’s reckless fiscal policies . . . Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that “the buck stops here.” Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.

Americans deserve better indeed. The thoughtful politician who uttered those words?

Barack H. Obama on March 20, 2006 as he prepared to vote against raising the debt ceiling at the request of the Bush administration.

In Defense of Pork

No, I’m not talking about the stimulus, or spendulus, or porkulus or whatever you want to call the omnibus earmark bill that will impoverish my offspring for generations to come. I’m talking about the meat.

I was at the office the other day. At lunch I went down to the cafeteria to nosh on the fine food stylings of the Sodexho crew.

I ended up at the grill as I usually do chatting with my favorite cuñado. I ordered a cheeseburger and he asked me what sounded like a simple question….”Bacon señor?”

I thought for a moment. Bacon? Why hell yes! I’ll take some bacon. He nodded and started adding a couple of crisp sweet slices of heaven’s own meat to my burger. But  I was still contemplating the deeper meaning of his question, Bacon señor?

What did he really mean? Was he simply asking in the culinary sense or was this a call to arms? A challenge for all who love bacon to take a stand. Show our true bacon striped colors? Tell the world that hell yes, damn the consequences and what everyone else thinks I’ll have some bacon?

I decided he was probably just asking about the burger since his next question was “fries?” My answer was the same as always, “curly por favor” but having gone through the mental cogitation decided I would make my stand for bacon.

And so dear readers, here is my question, my challenge, my call to arms (and shanks):

Bacon señor?

A Fresh New Scent For A Fresh New Year

I took Esposa’s MegaSUV to the car wash a few weeks back and was perusing the automotive accessory type stuff while I waited. The usual fare. Compass on a Suction Cup. Various types of space saving, automotive convenience  products and the usual assortment of air fresheners from the vaunted Ozium in a handy glove box size to the traditional pine scented hang on the rearview tree type. One thing I hadn’t noticed is that they now have the traditional pine tree in green, but also a veritable designers pallette of other scents as well. There was the berry scent on a purple pine tree. The cherry scent on a red pine tree. Each with a picture of their respective fruits just in case you weren’t hip to the color code or able to read the print prominently displayed at the bottom of each. I was puzzled by the sky blue tree adorned with parting clouds and a rainbow. Looking closer at the freshener though the mystery was solved.

Smells like a cross between unicorn farts and Skittles
Smells like a blend of unicorn farts and Skittles

I think I’m gonna buy one of those when my stimulus check comes in.

Hall of Crap Holiday Catalog

Baby blue glittered poinsettias....A holiday traditionI haven’t done a Hall of Crap post in quite some time, but yesterday’s trip to Albertson’s brought this inspirational display. Beautiful holiday poinsettias in traditional holiday colors: baby blue, purple, pink and burnt orange.  Oh and don’t forget the glitter. A must have gift that will be enjoyed by all of your friends. Only $9.99 USD while supplies last.

For those who may not be fortunate enough to live in an area served by Albertson’s supermarket, fear not. Plenty of crap to be found on the internets. Take this one for example…

Everyone in my trailer park struggles with how to keep the privvy smelling springtime fresh here in the depths of a snowy Texas winter. Enter This and That Products with Poo-Pourri: 

Unlike most air fresheners that try to mask odor, Patent Pending Poo~Pourri is designed to be sprayed directly onto the toilet bowl water before you go!

The all natural essential oil secret formula creates a film on the surface of the water, a barrier so to speak, trapping odor at it’s source to stop embarrassing bathroom odors! So spritz the bowl before you go….and no one else will ever know!

Poo-Pourri comes in Original scent (“A citrus fresh blend of Lemon-grass, Bergamot, Grapefruit and other natural essential oils”),  No. 2 (“This Sweet Bouquet of Mandarin, Bergamot and Orange enhanced by Hints of Peach and Berries is a Perfect Gift For Tween to College Age Girls!) and Royal Flush ( The Fresh Essence of Eucalyptus Works In Synergy with Spearmint In This Perfect Scent For Both Men and Women.) Also available are with optional chrome-like finish atomizers and gift sets. Prices ranging from $12 to $22 USD.

While we’re on the subject of bathrooms, nothing (except possibly a baby blue glittered poinsettia) brings out the holiday spirit like holiday print toilet paper from Baron Bob. Wipe those holiday blues away with three patterns: Santa, Season’s Greetings, and Reindeer w/Santa. A holiday bargain at only $4.95 USD per roll.

If you’re not into holiday toilet rolls, not to worry. Baron Bob has thought of everything. Visit his Fart & Poop Shop for lots of other holiday gift giving ideas from “Pull My Finger Farting Santa” to a “Pooping Santa M&M Candy Dispenser”. Seriously. I shit you not.

Our final catalog entry comes from Baron Bob as well and this is one that is definitely on my list to Santa. For only $1995 USD MSRP allow me to present (drumroll please) The Motorized Cooler <cue heavenly choir>

 

Got.To.Have.
CoolerCroozer: Got.To.Have.

As if the visual isn’t enough. Here are some specs:

  • 6.0 Robin Subaru OHV Engine
  • Coleman 54-Quart Stainless Steel Ice Chest
  • Azzuru Billet Mag Style Wheels
  • Inflatable Tubeless Slick Style Tires
  • Adjustable Steering Geometry
  • 10″ Racing Steering Wheel
  • Custom Billet Chrome Hand Control
  • All Steel TIG Welded Frame
  • Max Torque Clutch
  • Chain Drive Axle
  • Disc Brake

Comes in 5 hot colors:

Red, Yellow, Black, Blue, and two flavors of Green: Kawasaki and Avocado for those who like to rock out with their guac out.

That’s it for now shoppers. Good luck and Happy Holidays from the trailer park.