I might be back. It’s been 5 years since I’ve logged in here. At the beginning it was fun posting on here. Then it started to be like a job. Then Facebook and Twitter took off, much less pressure. And eventually I just quit posting here.
A lot has happened since I last posted. The Princess graduated from college. Budman finished high school and went off to college, he will graduate next year. Our pup passed away at 13 years of age, so Esposa and I settled into our suddenly very empty nest.
So, I’m thinking I have things to say. This might as well be the place to say it. To heck with Facebook and Twitter. I’m too slow witted and long winded for either of them. Plus connecting with people you haven’t seen in 20-25 years can sometimes remind you why you haven’t seen them in a long time.
So….here we go. Let’s see what happens.
Maybe if I had a Trunk Monkey I’d be better about blogging. I know this is old, over 3.2M views, but it’s new to me and it made be blog about it. Probably also says something that this is the sort of goofy sh|t that makes me giggle.
No, I’m not talking about the stimulus, or spendulus, or porkulus or whatever you want to call the omnibus earmark bill that will impoverish my offspring for generations to come. I’m talking about the meat.
I was at the office the other day. At lunch I went down to the cafeteria to nosh on the fine food stylings of the Sodexho crew.
I ended up at the grill as I usually do chatting with my favorite cuñado. I ordered a cheeseburger and he asked me what sounded like a simple question….”Bacon señor?”
I thought for a moment. Bacon? Why hell yes! I’ll take some bacon. He nodded and started adding a couple of crisp sweet slices of heaven’s own meat to my burger. But I was still contemplating the deeper meaning of his question, Bacon señor?
What did he really mean? Was he simply asking in the culinary sense or was this a call to arms? A challenge for all who love bacon to take a stand. Show our true bacon striped colors? Tell the world that hell yes, damn the consequences and what everyone else thinks I’ll have some bacon?
I decided he was probably just asking about the burger since his next question was “fries?” My answer was the same as always, “curly por favor” but having gone through the mental cogitation decided I would make my stand for bacon.
And so dear readers, here is my question, my challenge, my call to arms (and shanks):
Found this interesting little device over at Doubleplusundead that measures the cussiness of your website and I’m ashamed. What a wuss blog this is. Apparently having my own Hall of Crap is insufficient to even score double digits. What a firkin’ looser.
I guess I can blame it on the kids. Need to keep it clean blah blah blah.
How teh ghey.
That can only mean one thing….
Only six months till football season.
Killing off some leftover Hallow’een candy. We got the little two pack funsize Starburst. Problem is from the outside you can’t tell what you’re gonna get. (Insert Forest Gump reference here).
I have in front of me 4 packages of two. One regular Starburst flavor and three Baja California flavors. What the heck. I worked out this week. To our game:
1. Regular Starburst – orange-pink (strawberry) combo. Sort of like 17 in Blackjack. The king comes up (the pink) then the 7 pops out and you’re stuck.
2. Baja California Starburst – red-blue combo. Aztec Punch and Baja Dragonfruit. If these were my hole cards, I’d fold.
3. Baja California Starburst – green-pink combo. Limon and Strawberry Watermelon. Like drawing the Ace of Spades and a duece. Fold again.
4. Baja California Starburst – green-red combo. What is it about the green flavor in any pack? Never could give away the green Livesaver either.
My dreams of a Yahtzee pink-pink combo have been dashed. Oh well. Gotta go watch my teeth rot.
Update: I have been informed by Canadian medical authorities that eating Starburst in these quantities is unhealthy. So please children, do not try this at home. Particularly those who live in my home and depend on me to pay for dental and orthodontic expenses.
I’m further informed that Starburst consumption in this fashion can lead to weight gain, baldness, impatience and intermittent erectile dysfunction. If only I’d known this years ago.