Hall of Crap Holiday Catalog

Baby blue glittered poinsettias....A holiday traditionI haven’t done a Hall of Crap post in quite some time, but yesterday’s trip to Albertson’s brought this inspirational display. Beautiful holiday poinsettias in traditional holiday colors: baby blue, purple, pink and burnt orange.  Oh and don’t forget the glitter. A must have gift that will be enjoyed by all of your friends. Only $9.99 USD while supplies last.

For those who may not be fortunate enough to live in an area served by Albertson’s supermarket, fear not. Plenty of crap to be found on the internets. Take this one for example…

Everyone in my trailer park struggles with how to keep the privvy smelling springtime fresh here in the depths of a snowy Texas winter. Enter This and That Products with Poo-Pourri: 

Unlike most air fresheners that try to mask odor, Patent Pending Poo~Pourri is designed to be sprayed directly onto the toilet bowl water before you go!

The all natural essential oil secret formula creates a film on the surface of the water, a barrier so to speak, trapping odor at it’s source to stop embarrassing bathroom odors! So spritz the bowl before you go….and no one else will ever know!

Poo-Pourri comes in Original scent (“A citrus fresh blend of Lemon-grass, Bergamot, Grapefruit and other natural essential oils”),  No. 2 (“This Sweet Bouquet of Mandarin, Bergamot and Orange enhanced by Hints of Peach and Berries is a Perfect Gift For Tween to College Age Girls!) and Royal Flush ( The Fresh Essence of Eucalyptus Works In Synergy with Spearmint In This Perfect Scent For Both Men and Women.) Also available are with optional chrome-like finish atomizers and gift sets. Prices ranging from $12 to $22 USD.

While we’re on the subject of bathrooms, nothing (except possibly a baby blue glittered poinsettia) brings out the holiday spirit like holiday print toilet paper from Baron Bob. Wipe those holiday blues away with three patterns: Santa, Season’s Greetings, and Reindeer w/Santa. A holiday bargain at only $4.95 USD per roll.

If you’re not into holiday toilet rolls, not to worry. Baron Bob has thought of everything. Visit his Fart & Poop Shop for lots of other holiday gift giving ideas from “Pull My Finger Farting Santa” to a “Pooping Santa M&M Candy Dispenser”. Seriously. I shit you not.

Our final catalog entry comes from Baron Bob as well and this is one that is definitely on my list to Santa. For only $1995 USD MSRP allow me to present (drumroll please) The Motorized Cooler <cue heavenly choir>

 

Got.To.Have.
CoolerCroozer: Got.To.Have.

As if the visual isn’t enough. Here are some specs:

  • 6.0 Robin Subaru OHV Engine
  • Coleman 54-Quart Stainless Steel Ice Chest
  • Azzuru Billet Mag Style Wheels
  • Inflatable Tubeless Slick Style Tires
  • Adjustable Steering Geometry
  • 10″ Racing Steering Wheel
  • Custom Billet Chrome Hand Control
  • All Steel TIG Welded Frame
  • Max Torque Clutch
  • Chain Drive Axle
  • Disc Brake

Comes in 5 hot colors:

Red, Yellow, Black, Blue, and two flavors of Green: Kawasaki and Avocado for those who like to rock out with their guac out.

That’s it for now shoppers. Good luck and Happy Holidays from the trailer park.

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One thought on “Hall of Crap Holiday Catalog

  1. nad83 December 17, 2008 / 12:52 pm

    Gross.

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