Imam Auditioning for Role as Obama’s New Spiritual Mentor

In the vacuum left by the departure of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright from the Obamassiah campaign, you know the vacuum that literally sucked the wind out of the anointed one’s sails, there have been several entrants into the race (you like what I did there?). Pretenders such as Rev. James Meeks and Donnie (Pray the Gay Away) McClurkin have both entered the fray. (H/T Gabe at the AoSHQ)

Now meet Imam Abdul Makim, who made his play today to be the new Hater in Chief. Whilst justifying the hypothetical murder and rape of non-practitioners of the Religion of Peace ™, including their wives and daughters, Imam Abdul spake thusly:

“Because non-Muslims are never innocent, they are guilty of denying Allah and his prophet,” the Imam says, according to the report. “If you don’t believe me, here is the legal authority, the top Muslim lawyer of Britain.”

And of course said counselor steadfastly agreed with the Imam that practitioners of the One True Faith ™ are by definition innocent.

Sounds like a perfect fit.

But here’s my question. If non-practitioners of the Greatest Religion On The Earth. Evar! ™ are so unclean, how can a jihadi who would never let the tastebud nirvana that is bacon cross his lips, stick his private bits into (what to them) is the moral equivalent of apes and pigs?

Quite a paradox this Religion of All Things Wonderful Under Allah’s Golden Sun (except bacon) ™.

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11 thoughts on “Imam Auditioning for Role as Obama’s New Spiritual Mentor

  1. nad83 April 1, 2008 / 8:33 pm

    Wanna give a shout out to my Muslim Brothas and sistas Osama Bin Laden & Ashanti Blaize.

  2. nad83 April 1, 2008 / 8:52 pm

    God, I hope not. (Ashanti Blaize is a news anchor on NBC. Osama, well, he’s a terrorist.)

  3. nad83 April 1, 2008 / 9:40 pm

    OMG, I Nose! I nearly wet my man-thong.

  4. nad83 April 1, 2008 / 9:42 pm

    Seriously, though. I have as much patience for a Muslim zealot as I do a Christian one.

  5. semitough April 1, 2008 / 9:49 pm

    Seriousness is discouraged on this blog. Unless it is about how seriously screwed up it is to shop at IKEA.

  6. nad83 April 1, 2008 / 9:53 pm

    ten-four.

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