Will Offset Carbon Footprint for Air Miles

Freelance reporter Bigdino sent in a dispatch from the Great White North ™ today referencing this bit of environmental foolishness news. AirCanada travellers can now purchase carbon offsets to assuage their guilty conscience. Now travellers can kick back in cushy business class seats, sip chardonnay and munch on warm nuts without guilt. For instance, it only takes a mere $6.01 USD on a round trip flight between YYZ (Toronto Lester B. Pearson) and DFW to completely offset your lavish lifestyle.

Through a company called zerofootprint you can now completely eliminate your carbon footprint for a pittance. Their website offers this advice for the neophyte offsetter:

So where do I start? The best place to start is with my own emissions. Per capita, the average North American emits about 20 tonnes of CO2 every year. If you fly a lot, or drive a lot, or live in a big house, you may emit more. Maybe you emit less. The only way to find out is to measure your carbon footprint. Then you clean up as much as you emit.

Just so you know how bad you are they even offer a handy dandy calculator so you can fillcarbon-offset1.jpg in your own personal details and come up with your own footprint. The Semitough family weighed in at 34.35 (before adding in our secondary and tertiary vehicles) which according to their little snarky note is “well above average.” Since their handy dandy calculator does not allow for the fact that a person might own more than one car, calculating the secondary and tertiary SUVs brought us up to a grand total of 47.16. OMG we are nothing but filthy carbon pumps!

carbon-offset3.jpgSo what’s a suburban redneck to do? Well for a bit of money zerofootprint will make it all right for you. Travelling? No prob. $16 clears your slate. Got a carbon pumping vehicle? Rest easy. $96 nets you out. Just have that queasy “I’m-a-carbon-emitting-lowlife-ruining-the-planet-with-my-filthy-dirty-emissions feeling?” For only $128 these enviro-saints will absolve your enviro-sins. Just head on over to the Carbon Shop and buy your way to a crystal clear enviroscaped nirvana.

And don’t forget! Carbon offsets make great gifts!

Hat tip: Bigdino

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