San Francisco: Not Safe For Kids

If I were Mayor of San Francisco, I’d build a big wall with barbed wire and stuff all around the city. Then I would have what few normal people and families that are left there evacuated, and seal it off. Then I would send in a team led by Snake Plisskin, that Die Hard dude, Rocky Balboa/Rambo, and a resurrected John Wayne and have them kick some snotty ecoterrorist bicyclist ass. Once that ass was kicked I’d bring in Walker Texas Ranger, Randall “Tex” Cobb (Uncommon Valor “don’t you try none of that martial karate bullshit on me boy” Tex Cobb, not loser boxer Tex Cobb) Steven Segal, and Jean Claude VanDammedemeyer in to kick that ass one more time. Just for good measure, I’d combine the teams for another hot round of bicyclist ass whipping. Then open the city back up to the normal folks again so maybe crap like this wouldn’t happen anymore.

The inmates are running the asylum.

Update: Suggestion to rename the renegade biker (that’s bicycles) gang responsible for this outrage. Critical Mass is out….Hell’s Gay-ngels is in.


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