More Eye Poppin’, Spleen Splitting Toys of Doom

Another tip o’ the hat to Anthony at A Higher Bar. He keeps raising it and I keep lowering it back again.

In a comment to a previously linked story on the 101 Dumbest Moments in Business History that he turned me on to Anthony writes:

“After looking at the list it is hard to know where to start given the number of stupid mistakes that are made. If you want to see more of the worst toys check out the following top ten list.

If there’s anything better than today’s toys to snark at, it’s retro toys. Toys made back in the days before seat belts and car seats and bike helmets. Here are a few of the Ten Worst from Radaronline:

U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
Just the thing every kid needs to whip up an Illudium P-36 Explosive Space Modulator, this kit came with it’s own radioactive material enclosed. Kid you not.
“Marty! I think we can rig this thing to generate the 1.21 jiggawatts I need for my flux capacitor!”

Sky Dancer
Not radioactive, but I remember getting these things as Happy Meal prizes when The Princess was little. Genuinely bad idea. In order to fly she’s gotta beat those wings like a banshee. You could put an eye out with one of these things and apparently some did.
“Wanna take this for a spin?”

Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
My final favorite, another one I actually remember Number One wanting when he was tiny. He never got one, and now I learn it was probably for the best. Anyone else vaguely disturbed by the shape of those missiles?
“Is that a Battlestar Galactica Missile in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”


3 thoughts on “More Eye Poppin’, Spleen Splitting Toys of Doom

  1. extrapolater January 26, 2007 / 2:00 pm

    I used to have one of those Battlestar Galactica toys. Stupid me, I played with it instead of putting it on a shelf – now the original version is worth a ton of money.

    I played with all kinds of valuable toys. Why didn’t anyone tell me toys were for saving and selling, not playing with?

  2. semitough February 8, 2007 / 7:54 pm

    If the Ron Wood doll comes with realistic bottles of simulated booze and an authentic replica coke spoon I’m all over it. đŸ™‚

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