After much anticipation, the votes are in. Having been tabulated and kept in a hermitically sealed Miracle Whip jar until their announcement tonight. But before we get to the inductees for 2006, a bit of background on the Hall of Crap itsownself and the criteria for induction.
Semitough’s Hall of Crap has been under construction for several minutes and is modelled after the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library on the campus of Texas A&M University. Except that the Hall of Crap also doubles as a car wash, convenience store, and community center for the trailer court here. With ample free parking for the one to two visitors per month this attaction is sure to generate, the price is reasonable (free as well).
Conveniently located at the entrance to the trailer court, the Semitough Hall of Crap readies for it’s grand opening.
Curious minds may ask, “But Semitough, how do all these fantastic items from around the globe find their way to the trailer park?” Good question. For the most part the nominees and inductees into the Hall of Crap are things that Semitough observes in and around the trailer park. However, for those hard to carry items the Hall of Crap does offer pickup services by our crack staff of movers and shakers in one of our fleet of Crap Trucks (pictured below):
Now without further ado, on to the Induction Ceremony. 2006 was the year of trailer hitch kitsch here in Semitough land. After a random bull ball sighting on a neighborhood Escalade, Semitough started noticing tailcrap on many neighborhood vehicles and on others during his travels across the breadth of this great Republic of Texas. Alas, only three have risen to the level of crapitude required of a true Hall of Crapper. So honorable mentions to all you folks out there who accessorize your hitchal areas with boat propellers, Longhorn, or Tech logos. Maybe next year.
Our first inductee is the now world renowned bull balls. Nothing says redneck chic like a large pair of chrome plated ones trailing your ride. For those who feel chrome is a a little too nuevo riche, they also come in brass, black, blue, red and the ultrafashionista color – pink. And according to their website, bulls balls are not just for trucks. Cars, motorcycles, jetskis, and Segways are also eligible for the bull ball treatment. You can even buy a set to carry on your keychain.
Bulls balls. The new bumper sticker.
Our next inductee was spotted on the hitch of an F350 crew cab in lovely downtown New Braunfels, TX. Central Texas is mecca for Texas deer hunters. And what better way to pay homage to the venerated whitetail deer than to animate, electrify, and glorify them with a lighted “Don’t Shoot”
trailer hitch cover. Just slip it over the knob, plug it in to your trailer light receptacle and watch your rearview for all the fun when the hindu vegan behind you at the 4 way stop observes this buck light up, wave his forelegs and beg for his life every time you mash the brake. Hours of good redneck fun.
“Pay no attention to the target on my chest! Don’t shoot!”
Our final inductee for 2006 is in remembrance of the late, great Steve Irwin, the so-called Crocodile Hunter. Had he not been born in Australia Semitough has no doubt that Mr. Irwin would have made a great redneck and would have appreciated the irony represented by this last inductee. Thank you Steve Irwin for being a ray of hope to all vermin/varmint hunters everywhere.