|Thirteen Things about Semitough:Happy Thanksgiving everyone! On Thanksgiving Day we all have much to be thankful for. We have our families, our health, fine food and fellowship. Many thoughtful and contemplative bloggers will no doubt be documenting their blessings in great detail all over the Interwebs.However, in fine Texas tradition, Semitough turns to that most Holy of Texas Holies, High School Football, for Thanksgiving Day inspiration.
Unlike the wussy colleges who for the most part finish their seasons before Thanksgiving then take off a month or so waiting for their bowl game, Texas high schools play a punishing playoff tournament that lasts throughout the holidays, ultimately crowning true state champs in each classification (or sometimes two) without depending on polls, mathematical algorithms, or extra sensory perception. The fact that Semitough has the time to sit down and write this is testimony to the fact that HIS football team is home for the holidays.
But many high school families will be spending some portion of this holiday weekend on the road engaging in Area and Regional football action.In honor of those families, many traveling great distances to “neutral” sites for their playoff games, Semitough dedicates this blog to Texas High School mascots across our great Republic…..er I mean state:
As in many parts of the country, a lot of high schools are pretty unimaginative when it comes to naming their school mascot. The usual Lions, Tigers, & Bears (oh my). Below are the Top Ten mascots across the state:
1. Bulldogs 63
Oddly enough, Bears doesn’t make the Top Ten, but if you include ursine derivatives, Bearcats, Bearkats, Bearkatz, and Cubs, they take over seventh place from the ever popular Cougars. From a species perspective, feline mascots are the clear winner even without the ursine/feline derivative Bearcats and the single feline Cub derivative and in spite of losing the top two spots to canine and avian mascots. Humans make a decent showing claiming eight & ninth with Indians & Pirates, and overall rank second in the species standings when you add in Cowboys, Trojans, Farmers, Raiders, Marauders, Vandals, and other assorted bipedal mascots. Top Five species are below:
1. Feline 221
On a personal note, Semitough was a Panther, Esposa was a Chaparral, The Princess is currently a Wildcat, and Energizer Buddy is a Future Wildcat, but currently a Raven.
Without further ado, here are Semitough’s Thirteen most unique Texas High School mascots:
1. Cuero Gobblers – Had to list the Gobblers first in honor of the holiday. Perennial powerhouse Cuero boasts 3 state championships and other playoff appearances too numerous to mention (cause I’m too lazy to count). The Fighting Gobblers this year are 11-0 and will be playing the Rio Hondo Bobcats (10-1) this weekend in
2. Munday Moguls – The Mogul mascot looks a little like Marco Polo especially decked out in the Purple and Gold of Munday High School. Munday is in Texas’ smallest football classification, 1A and has the misfortune to be in the same district with perennial 1A powerhouse Windthorst Trojans. Better luck next year Moguls!
3. Hamlin Pied Pipers – Gotta love the sense of humor on whoever named this mascot. The logo on their website looks a little like The Hulk with a green Robin Hood hat. And if you’d like to get a flavor for what attending a Hamlin Pied Piper game might be like, you can check out this video of them entering the field in their final game of the 2006 season. No playoffs for the Pipers.
4. Hutto Hippos – Here’s a town that would have been better off going with a cat of some sort, maybe the Hutto website while writing this and one of the headlines on the main page is “Congratulations to the Lady Hippo volleyball team.” Lady Hippos? Oh dear. Those poor girls.
5. Itasca Wampus Cats – The Cats are in the playoffs this as holiday weekend as well, playing the appropriately named Holliday Eagles. I kind of like the sound of Wampus Cats, but upon reading what a Wampus Cat is I’m not sure it’s an appropriate mascot for high school age boys.
6. Rotan Yellowhammers – The Yellowhammer for all you non-ornithologists out there is a species of woodpecker common in the south and the state bird of Alabama. While not a fearsome mascot I guess it could be rated up there with Cardinals and Cranes, except Cardinals are mean and Cranes are at least tall if not fear inspiring. Rotan’s football team is home for the holidays hanging around the nest, but watch out next season!
7. Palo Duro Dons – I’m still not exactly sure what a Don is. Checked out the PDHS Cheerleader site and saw a picture of their mascot. Sort of like if Snidely Whiplash (Dudley Do-Right’s archenemy) was playing Zorro in a low budget animated movie. Regardless, looks like Palo Duro is out of the playoffs this year. Curses! Foiled again.
8. Robstown Cotton Pickers – Pickers for short. I think I’d stick with Cotton Pickers. I can almost see the derogatory signs on the opposing sideline of some hillbilly with his finger buried up his nose. No playoffs for the Pickers this year either. Guess they can all sit around the Dairy Queen picking their……oh never mind. That’s just too disgusting to type in a semi-family oriented blog.
9. Central Catholic HS Buttons – Buttons? This ranks right up there with Zips and Nimrods as the least meaningful mascot I’ve ever heard of. Buttons? Like in “push my….” Or “loosen up my…..”? Guess it’s better than Virgins or Abstainers. Gotta keep ’em buttoned to be one of those though.
10. Brazosport Exporters – To me this is sort of like calling your team the Dallas Insurance Salesmen. Not a big fan of occupational mascots. Of course after this video of a Brazosport elementary school assembly pledging allegiance to the Mexican flag it made watching this video of the TexasLaMarque broadcasters and look at the full season’s highlight videos posted on YouTube.1
11. Trent Gorillas – Definitely one of the more unique mascots I’ve come across, and the only simian mascot I could find in the state. Trent plays Six Man football which is a unique game in and of itself. Six Man is played in many small towns in where there aren’t enough kids to play with a full contingent of eleven on each side of the ball. Other variations for Six Man are that the field is smaller, 40 X 80 yards versus 50 X 100. A team needs 15 yards for a first down. All players are eligible receivers. The quarterback must hand off, pitch or throw the ball before it can cross the line of scrimmage. And a field goal is worth 4 points, a kicked PAT is 2 points, and a run/pass PAT is just one point.
12. El Campo Ricebirds – El Campo’s mascot looks like some kind of fierce strutting sea eagle. The name Ricebirds, not so fierce. But I suppose Ricebird is more fierce than the other names for this bird, Bobolink, Java Sparrow, or Mannikins. In the same district with the Brazosport Exporters, I can only imagine the hoopla surrounding the big Ricebird vs. Exporter match up.
13. Springtown Porcupines – The Porcupines went 4-6 this year andnare out of the playoffs, but look for that Pojo Magic to return to the gridiron next season as they line up for another season.
Fort Worth Polytechnic (Poly) Parrots
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